i just put the drawing of the ram up on my site. i think it looks good. i didn’t know this until now, but i’ve always wanted to have a drawing of a ram on my site.

i went to a site, PEDA, people for the eating of delicious animals. it’s making fun of PETA, people for the ethical treatment of animals. some of it’s funny, and i know the guy, so i sent him a sarcastic e-mail. here’s what it said:

hey matt. this is chris. chris hopf. got your blog address from
cora. i laughed my ass off just at the name peda. but i wanted to retort:

death of an animal is a horrible horrible thing. want proof? peta
happily distributes a free video of slaughterhouse conditions. watch it. they promiseit will “change your life.” it sure changed mine. when you’re done watching it come back and finish this email.

your life is changed isn’t it? after seeing it, i turned off the video and watched some tv. i came to a horrible realization.

my tv was on the discovery channel, and what gruesomeness did i
witness? there was a cheetah MAULING a zebra. it was devouring its flesh like the horrible beast that i once was before i saw the peta video. i was apalled. but there is something we can do, fellow peta brother.

it’s not just cheetahs. birds kill worms, ants kill grasshoppers,
snakes eat rats! they obviously have not been taught the true virtues of life. there is an easy solution.

in a clockwork orange, they strapped the guy down and forced his eyes open so that he’ll watch violent films so it makes him sick and he will no longer commit such violence. this is all we have to do to get these animals to see that what they’re doing is wrong. strap the animals down, force their eyes open, and make them first watch a young zebra prancing around with his friends. then cut to the next scene, a DYING zebra, presumably the same one, with its guts hanging out of its belly, trying to crawl to his mom. but where is mom? SHE’S IN THE STOMACHS OF THE OTHER CHEETAHS. as he comes to
this realization a cheetah bites into his neck and causes blood to spray forth like a geyser. the animal being forced to watch will realize that he’s made one bad mistake after another, and will leave the building a new animal.

i know that you must agree that this the only solution to such a
horrid problem, because you too saw the terrible treatment of animals in the peta video. i’ve tried to contact peta about conducting “Operation Animalsave,” but i have yet to hear back from them. i’ll keep you posted.

chris.

i thought it was a vaguely funny e-mail. i don’t really put much thought in peta, or really in peda for that matter, and i’d rather think about other things. but matt didn’t get the joke, and i suppose he takes peda very seriously. he replied saying that peta is stupid, don’t call me a peta brother, etc. for a while, i thought he was playing along, because i couldn’t really see how someone could take my email seriously. but, he didn’t, and he said he’d post my hatemail on his site.

well, it wasn’t hatemail, and it wasn’t posted, because he got the joke after i told him it was a joke. so i posted it so others may join me in Operation Animalsave. come on now. Operation Animalsave??? who could take that seriously?