Author: chris

it’s 1:14 in the morning at the end of the week.  i can’t believe how tired i am.

i just posted snuff the rat. i wrote it in accounting, a horrible, horrible class that no one needs to be subjected to. i think the story can sum up the frustration i feel in the class. my professer looks like a witch, with long white hair, and the first day she assured us one out of every four of us would fail or drop out of the class. alright, let’s get to the fun of learning accounting!!

i just posted snorting filth. i wrote it two days ago in my accounting class because i was bored and had to create somewhere else i’d rather be.  i often have to create somewhere else i’d rather be.  not as often as i used to, but still, often.

i am listening to clinic’s new cd.  i just bought it.  it’s been out a week and a half.  i’m so embarassed.  i’ve been waiting for this cd for a year, and then when it comes out i’m oblivious.  the guy at the record store assured me i wasn’t alone–the sales for the cd, he said, weren’t doing as well as they’d thought they would.  this is sad, because clinic is a very very fine band that should be bought and heard by everyone.

as soon as the last line comes to me i’ll post the first story in what might be a saga regarding karen deathrage, a very cruel woman that everyone should fear.  or, of course, it may be the only story.  time will tell.  and it’s very annoying to wait for the last line to come to you.  where is it? i ask. (this, i believe, is how good stories are made bad, mine included.  a line or a paragraph or a page is forcibly written, instead of just being written.)

hmm.  once again, a closing line eludes me.

i was reading an article on the sex pistols the other day.  didn’t learn anything new about them, but it was an interesting read.  i’m planning on reading john lydon’s book rotten, about…johnny rotten.  it’s sad, they, and any of the pioneering punks–germs, ramones–caused this huge revolution, and now their legacy is picked up by the likes of blink 182.

in my bedroom i have a sliding glass door.  across the street is a nursing home.  during the day i’ve seen old people sitting outside and staring, and the workers sit outside smoking.  when i go to bed at night, usually after or around midnight, there, of course, aren’t any people outside.  nor can i see any people inside.  i look out my window every night (this is an anal retentive quality i possess.  i check all closets and check all locks and check to see if anyone is standing outside my sliding glass door every time i go to bed.  wait…that’s paranoia isn’t it?) and i have the uneasy feeling that someday i’m going to look out and see someone in the window looking at me.

i moved into my apartment the other day.  no internet there yet.  no cable.  but who needs these things when one has records?  when one has books?  well, i do.

as summer ends, and i’m selling the stuff that i need to get sold on ebay before i go to school (i bet you didn’t know i sell people’s stuff on ebay, did you?  you didn’t did you?) and i’m packing the stuff i forgot to get and i’m finishing projects and i’m spending money that i don’t really have on cleaning supplies, etc…..what’s it called when everything caves in on itself in one massive cataclysm?  i want to write it above my bed on my new white bedroom wall: IMPLODE

have a new story up: bunny toulep (working title: the story with names) .  some may think i have better stories.  well, i do.  but in developing writing, one has to get a few things out of their system…or work a few things out in writing…or maybe something else, that i have yet to find out.  in any case, i do like this story…it was fun to write, and to read over. and as always, a free lollipop to whomever can come up with the meaning behind it.  run along now kids!

one would think that someone like myself with such an aversion to people wouldn’t feel comfortable going to a place like schlitterbahn (have you not heard?! it’s america’s, or the world’s…i’m not sure…number one water park. and it’s located an hour and a half from me) yet i have been twice in the past week and a half. and the people truly are awful…as are the lines, and the charges (crappy burger-like substitute is $5.50, etc.), and the people…the people are awful. people everywhere. calling you asshole, getting offended by you and thinking they have to defend their god knows what–honor?–when you retort with the same insult. i did have a good time though, both times.  but it could have been greatly improved upon had the people been absent

i went to odessa last week.  we were 20 miles from the city at midnight when we could see the lights of odessa stretched out before us (it was just laura and i).  i have an astigmatism in my eyes, and at night, even with my glasses on, some things look like they are skewed vertically.  all the lights were skewed.  they looked like they were being reflected in a lake, and i asked laura if she knew a lake had recently grown here. 

as a closing thought, do you know what’s disgusting to think about?  i’m sitting here about to take a shower after the day at the waterpark.  all the water that has dried on my body…do you know where that’s been?  it’s been up people’s cracks, brushing their anus, it’s washed over their testacles, their vaginas, it’s absorbed urine and snot and spit and other vile things into its enormity.  there is not enough chlorine in the world to make me stop thinking about that.

july is finally over.  i’m ready, and have been ready for weeks, months, to move into my apartment.  15 more days.

i had a grand total of 3801 hits on my site this month.  when the site first started, i got so few hits that i’d know who visited my site from their ip address, and it was usually my friends.  a happy day it was when i tracked down an ip from colorado.  i don’t know anyone in colorado.

i’m going to odessa for three days.  it’s a town in west texas where most of laura’s family lives.  i’ve never been there, but i have driven through west texas.  it seems that all of west texas, over 100 miles of it, smells of oil dereks or animal feces. i can only hope that odessa is different.

i looked up record stores that are in odessa.  there are two, 45s Forever and Endless Horizons Discount Records and Tapes.  the first one sounds interesting, though it will probably be stacked wall to wall with unwanted country singles, achey breaky heart happily mashed up against the streak.  but maybe not.  i don’t know what to think of “Endless Horizons” though.  sounds like they might carry some good old self reassuring records to elevate your soul to a higher dimension.  i once got a cd by Mythos.  it was in a used bin and it looked interesting, i had never heard of them.  the label was “Higher Octave Music” and said “take a journey on sound to an alternate state of reality.”  i was too stupid, or too young, or both, to realize that this was the mantra for new age music, and that no new age music can be good music.  after listening to it and going through an hourof uncontrolled vomiting, i gave it to my mom.  she agreed that it was rubbish.

i have a large group of boxes and crap strewn about my floor.  i need to get the majority of this packed for school, and the rest of it i need to get it packed to stay here.  today i went upstairs to start working on it again.  then i realized i needed to wire my newer smaller speakers so i can listen to my vinyl through them, instead of through the 30 year old ones that are part of the system.  this, naturally, is more important than packing for school, so i did rewire it, and i was listening to alan hull in a new light: when it got to the low bass parts it didn’t sound like the subwoofer was going to explode.  it was quite an experience.  his “drug song” is excellent.  i’d have bought the record just for that song.

i want to see “they saved hitler’s brain.”  it’s a b movie from the 60s.  they didn’t just save hitler’s brain, but his whole head, and it looks like the neck too, from the picture.  apparently, he doesn’t ever speak…he just acts as a sinister looking paperweight.  the dvd is only 10 bucks on amazon. what do nazis do on a saturday night? 

you know how you get drunk and then go to sleep, and then something happens like someone comes and fills your mouth with shaving cream, and this wakes you up but you can’t stop them, so you just fall back to sleep, and then in the morning you wake up expecting to find your mouth filled with shaving cream, but instead someone has cleaned it out for you completely, brushed your teeth, and rinsed your mouth with scope?

yeah, that’s kind of what just happened to me…minus the liquor, shaving cream, and waking up. 

yesterday i got this message from the people who host my website: [(it’s not showing up…so for added fun, click and drag over the whole white box below to highlight it…then you can read it.  enjoy!)]

great.  if you’ve been following this long winded story, you’ll remember that i had about 90 mb to upload.  i started on it last night, but gave up when my connected kept disconnecting and refused to stay connected.

so i just got home from being out, and i start to upload the rest of the stuff.  i open the upload-to folder, and it’s completely full…all of my files are in there.  i go to my site, and guess what?  it’s back up, beaming in all its squalid glory. i seriously disconnected and reconnected and reloaded it just to make sure.  so…yeah, it’s back up.  i love it when my hosting company screws with me.  i get all freaked out, then they say “gotcha!” and i shake my head and smile. “well, you got me again, you slimy bastards.” and i shake my finger at them. but, fyi, if you wanted to check out a story you haven’t read yet, go quick…i think it’s prank week at the fraternity my host belongs to!  woohoo!! he’s probably raking in the cash and getting wasted every night!! woohoo!!

i have to go now.  my mouth tastes strangely like shaving cream

as we speak i am uploading the art folder for my site.  yes, i am going in alphabetical order, yes art is the first folder to upload.  it may take a couple of days to do this.  i have to keep an eye on it because my internet disconnects at random times, so i can’t just set it to upload it all and then go watch the jetsons.  i have to sit there, making sure i have a limited number of screwups. (as a note, the art folder is one of the smallest folders.  just wait til i get to the “shorts” folder. sigh.)

but forget that for a while.  joanna newsom is awesome.  i read an article about her by dave eggers a while back, i think it was in spin.  he couldn’t really describe her very well, and now i see why.  she has a voice like a southern child, and she plays a harp…a HARP.  but it’s not new age or sparkley music or anything…it often just sounds like a guitar.  if you have the means, get this cd. 

i picked it up at waterloo records, along with kevin devine’s new cd make the clocks move, and jolie holland’s cd escondida.  more on those later–i haven’t listened to them much, i’ve been listening and listening to newsom.  i don’t think i’ve heard anything like it…sometimes it’s like an early black and white cartoon character.

hey, now i’m on the fillers folder for the site.  maybe i’ll get this done before the month is up!

some of you may have noticed my website doing strange things, such as not working at all, or showing strange files.  (to use iwanttoleavemybody’s quote, because it sums it up perfectly, my site has been acting loco) let me explain.

my website host is ixwebhosting.  they claim they have a 99% up time, or that my site is online that much during a year.  so that’s about 3.6 days it can be down.  they are very very quickly reaching that limit, and it’s only july.

right now there are two links on the site.  neither of them take you anywhere, but i cannot upload anything or delete anything or do anything.  so, for now, you are stuck having to entertain yourself with these meaningless links.  it’s not as hard as you’d think.  go buy a blotter of acid from the 12 year old down the street and you can have yourself an incredible time.

how long am i expecting the site to be loco?  well, it was down for a full day (and i felt it–i felt the drug slowly draining itself from my veins.  then the shakes, then the sweats, then the hallucinations.  my brother the car–i didn’t even know i had a brother–running me over and backing over my skull).  now that’s it’s up somewhat they’ve fixed something…so i’m hoping that i’ll have it back up by the end of the day.

this does depend on whether i have to upload everything back onto the site–about 90 mb, on a 56k modem. so…we’ll see.  i’ll post a notice on here when i’ve gotten it all up and running.

(if i seem calm here it is only an illusion–and, just fyi, i can’t update the site from jail.)