Category: Uncategorized

i am taking a children’s literature class this semester.  we had a test in it last week, when i had three or four tests at once, and i made a hundred on it.  at first, i was excited, because it’s the first hundred on a test i’ve ever made in college…and i’ve made pretty much every other grade possible.  but then i thought–the only class you can get a hundred in is children’s literature??

i’m not listening to “puking and crying” by s.  i’m listening to “sadstyle” by s.  they don’t have it on amazon. in fact they don’t have it anywhere, and it took me about a year and a half of searching for it to finally get it…and i didn’t even find it!  my lovely girlfriend, laura, found it on ebay (you will never know how much she paid for it).  depressingly, as it just so happens, there is another copy on ebay again, right now.  sigh.  maybe i’ll have to get that one too.  it’s too fine a cd for just anyone to own.  puking and crying was released a couple of weeks ago…i’ll be getting that for 10 dollars very very soon. maybe you should too.  (cheap-cds.com)

about once every year or two i get the incessant urge to play the sims.  their babble starts floating through my head, and the television babble puts me in a trance, and i have to go reload it on my computer–because it’s crashed completely at least four times since i’ve played it, no doubt–and devote my week to it.  abusive families, lesbian minogue est troise, lonely bachelor science geeks, and children barricaded inside their homes are all under my rule.  but after a certain amount of time, though, it becomes the most monotonous waste of time ever invented by man.  yes, worse than the lifetime channel. but until then, it’s the only thing i want to do.

triumphantly, “puking and crying” is the only record that comes up when you search for “puking.”  more album titles need to be vomit-related.

in trying to search for “beatles” in xangazon, i got zero results. then i searched for “mystery tour” and got five results…maybe it was four. hmm.

i’m actually not listening to magical mystery tour. the people in the apartment below me (i think they may be lesbians, but i’m not sure. their dog barks at me through the window and i stomp louder on the stairs.) are listening to it. i can make out the bass riffs, which i recognize immediately, of course, as strawberry fields forever. i laid with my ear on the floor listening to it for 10 minutes. when i decided to put my own mmt cd in and listen to it, it just wasn’t the same. so i returned to the floor.

i feel thoroughly raped and beaten and broken after taking three tests in the last two days. do all professors get together and plan malicious test dates at the same time? can’t they just pry into our stomachs with screwdrivers and pour in rubbing alcohol instead?

i updated my site with mustard spatterings. i dropped the mustard from my third story apartment and took pictures of it, then took two pints of water down to wash it off. i poured the pints on the mustard and it just turned the runoff water a little yellow, but didn’t get rid of it at all. it’s behind the apartment complex where not many people go, so maybe someone will slip on it and hit their head on the concrete and then nobody will be able to help them because nobody will ever see them and they’ll die by mustard.

i’ve gotten a few strange emails…people seem to be confused. www.noconversation.com is my website. this is not my website. this is a frail appendage of my website. my website is about five or six years old. this, of course, is not.

i just left a few blogrings that i was a member of. why? i felt stupid being a member of so many blogrings. what’s the point.

have you ever tried to end your membership with a blogring? it’s like trying to end your membership with sprint, or the gym. “are you SURE you want to leave? but, look at all the women with large breasts–don’t you want to see large breasts in the gym? no? okay, well fill out this ten page end-of-membership form and you’ll be set!” when you leave a blogring, you can’t just click somewhere on your xanga and leave it. you have to go to the blogring, you have to click the link that takes you to the site with your membership information, you have to click leave blogring, you have to type your password in even if you are already logged in, you have to then click yes i want to leave, and then it takes you to xanga.com. i have better things to do than this.

it says i’m currently playing songs for the new year by simon joyner. that’s a lie. i’m sorry. i’m listening to simon joyner’s album the cowardly traveller pays his toll. i think it must have been a vinyl only release from 1994…i’m not sure. i love it. the first song, 747, is superb. go find it. it’s worth it.

how i said i’m listening to cowardly traveller pays his toll…that’s a lie too. i’m sorry. i wish i was listening to it, but i am not home yet, so i am playing it in my head.

what am i still doing away from my apartment?? i have to get on the bus and go back home so i can buy mustard to drop from my balconey and take a picture of it.

it’s 1:14 in the morning at the end of the week.  i can’t believe how tired i am.

i just posted snuff the rat. i wrote it in accounting, a horrible, horrible class that no one needs to be subjected to. i think the story can sum up the frustration i feel in the class. my professer looks like a witch, with long white hair, and the first day she assured us one out of every four of us would fail or drop out of the class. alright, let’s get to the fun of learning accounting!!

i just posted snorting filth. i wrote it two days ago in my accounting class because i was bored and had to create somewhere else i’d rather be.  i often have to create somewhere else i’d rather be.  not as often as i used to, but still, often.

i am listening to clinic’s new cd.  i just bought it.  it’s been out a week and a half.  i’m so embarassed.  i’ve been waiting for this cd for a year, and then when it comes out i’m oblivious.  the guy at the record store assured me i wasn’t alone–the sales for the cd, he said, weren’t doing as well as they’d thought they would.  this is sad, because clinic is a very very fine band that should be bought and heard by everyone.

as soon as the last line comes to me i’ll post the first story in what might be a saga regarding karen deathrage, a very cruel woman that everyone should fear.  or, of course, it may be the only story.  time will tell.  and it’s very annoying to wait for the last line to come to you.  where is it? i ask. (this, i believe, is how good stories are made bad, mine included.  a line or a paragraph or a page is forcibly written, instead of just being written.)

hmm.  once again, a closing line eludes me.

i was reading an article on the sex pistols the other day.  didn’t learn anything new about them, but it was an interesting read.  i’m planning on reading john lydon’s book rotten, about…johnny rotten.  it’s sad, they, and any of the pioneering punks–germs, ramones–caused this huge revolution, and now their legacy is picked up by the likes of blink 182.

in my bedroom i have a sliding glass door.  across the street is a nursing home.  during the day i’ve seen old people sitting outside and staring, and the workers sit outside smoking.  when i go to bed at night, usually after or around midnight, there, of course, aren’t any people outside.  nor can i see any people inside.  i look out my window every night (this is an anal retentive quality i possess.  i check all closets and check all locks and check to see if anyone is standing outside my sliding glass door every time i go to bed.  wait…that’s paranoia isn’t it?) and i have the uneasy feeling that someday i’m going to look out and see someone in the window looking at me.

i moved into my apartment the other day.  no internet there yet.  no cable.  but who needs these things when one has records?  when one has books?  well, i do.

as summer ends, and i’m selling the stuff that i need to get sold on ebay before i go to school (i bet you didn’t know i sell people’s stuff on ebay, did you?  you didn’t did you?) and i’m packing the stuff i forgot to get and i’m finishing projects and i’m spending money that i don’t really have on cleaning supplies, etc…..what’s it called when everything caves in on itself in one massive cataclysm?  i want to write it above my bed on my new white bedroom wall: IMPLODE

have a new story up: bunny toulep (working title: the story with names) .  some may think i have better stories.  well, i do.  but in developing writing, one has to get a few things out of their system…or work a few things out in writing…or maybe something else, that i have yet to find out.  in any case, i do like this story…it was fun to write, and to read over. and as always, a free lollipop to whomever can come up with the meaning behind it.  run along now kids!

one would think that someone like myself with such an aversion to people wouldn’t feel comfortable going to a place like schlitterbahn (have you not heard?! it’s america’s, or the world’s…i’m not sure…number one water park. and it’s located an hour and a half from me) yet i have been twice in the past week and a half. and the people truly are awful…as are the lines, and the charges (crappy burger-like substitute is $5.50, etc.), and the people…the people are awful. people everywhere. calling you asshole, getting offended by you and thinking they have to defend their god knows what–honor?–when you retort with the same insult. i did have a good time though, both times.  but it could have been greatly improved upon had the people been absent

i went to odessa last week.  we were 20 miles from the city at midnight when we could see the lights of odessa stretched out before us (it was just laura and i).  i have an astigmatism in my eyes, and at night, even with my glasses on, some things look like they are skewed vertically.  all the lights were skewed.  they looked like they were being reflected in a lake, and i asked laura if she knew a lake had recently grown here. 

as a closing thought, do you know what’s disgusting to think about?  i’m sitting here about to take a shower after the day at the waterpark.  all the water that has dried on my body…do you know where that’s been?  it’s been up people’s cracks, brushing their anus, it’s washed over their testacles, their vaginas, it’s absorbed urine and snot and spit and other vile things into its enormity.  there is not enough chlorine in the world to make me stop thinking about that.

july is finally over.  i’m ready, and have been ready for weeks, months, to move into my apartment.  15 more days.

i had a grand total of 3801 hits on my site this month.  when the site first started, i got so few hits that i’d know who visited my site from their ip address, and it was usually my friends.  a happy day it was when i tracked down an ip from colorado.  i don’t know anyone in colorado.

i’m going to odessa for three days.  it’s a town in west texas where most of laura’s family lives.  i’ve never been there, but i have driven through west texas.  it seems that all of west texas, over 100 miles of it, smells of oil dereks or animal feces. i can only hope that odessa is different.

i looked up record stores that are in odessa.  there are two, 45s Forever and Endless Horizons Discount Records and Tapes.  the first one sounds interesting, though it will probably be stacked wall to wall with unwanted country singles, achey breaky heart happily mashed up against the streak.  but maybe not.  i don’t know what to think of “Endless Horizons” though.  sounds like they might carry some good old self reassuring records to elevate your soul to a higher dimension.  i once got a cd by Mythos.  it was in a used bin and it looked interesting, i had never heard of them.  the label was “Higher Octave Music” and said “take a journey on sound to an alternate state of reality.”  i was too stupid, or too young, or both, to realize that this was the mantra for new age music, and that no new age music can be good music.  after listening to it and going through an hourof uncontrolled vomiting, i gave it to my mom.  she agreed that it was rubbish.